I was standing in my oldest daughters room helping her get ready for prom. Watching her and wondering where the time had gone. I blinked and she was not a little girl anymore and I was looking at an almost grown woman. The flowing white dress was hanging in the corner next to her shoes. Her hair was done beautifully and we just finished her makeup. I felt so many emotions and excitement for her. I was beaming with pride at this wonderful person in front of me. An immeasurable beauty and brilliant mind. She is the one you can count on for anything. More adult than most adults. An outstanding student and athlete. It was in this moment I began to see her doubt herself and her beauty. She started questioning everything about herself as she stared back at her reflection in the mirror. She was picking herself apart and her smile had vanished.
My heart began to sink. I was taken aback by what she was saying. I was wondering how such an amazing confident girl could doubt herself even for a second. I reassured her that everything was perfect and she looked wonderful. As I fought back tears I was pushing a smile so not to let her see my heart breaking for her. I remembered in that moment all the times I’ve doubted myself. I was guilty of doing the same thing all too often. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why are we so unable to see the good? Why is it so natural to want to pick ourselves apart and be so critical? The doubt, the fear and letting our children see as we dwell on our flaws. My legs, my hair, I hate my nose….. whatever it is that bothers us about ourselves is passed down to our children like a curse.
The moment we show them its ok to love ourselves is when we stop the cycle. Confidence is important in raising girls. We need to pass down the value of taking control of our self confidence. Show them that it is better to love what we have instead of wanting to change it. Social media has such an impact on our children that even from a young age they are pushed towards a spotlight. They see a false portrayal of what beauty really is and what it means. The online influence is creating a problem with every edit and photoshop they use. We need to show our girls more about being confident in themselves. Its ok to love everything about us. Let our daughters see the confidence in ourselves as their mothers. Break the cycle of negativity in our own reflections. Its the differences in all of us that makes us each special. Loving ourselves will allow us to grow and truly love what we see in each other too. ~